Sunday, January 30, 2011

One Day in 4AL
Period 5, Friday, 1986
Aka why teaching sucks. 


This is an actual transcript from a tape recording I made of what Social Studies was like at Wellington College with Mr Henderson in 1986. It was a conservative, academic all boys' school where everyone was called by their last names mostly.

Whenever I find myself bemoaning how schooling has gone downhill, I'm reminded of this. If you're ever considering being a teacher, try and do basically the exact opposite of Mr Henderson (aka 'fascist boot') did. I guess in the end, it was all fun and there weren't any knives or terrorizing so I guess it was pretty tame.

This class was by no means unusual -- everyone quickly realised that Mr H was in la-la land and almost nothing got done.

Jargonbuster note: a 'meat' was a popular term back then for a moron or stupid person. I think it was shorthand for meat head. And a Room 9 was an afternoon detention. And 'sucked' meant 'serves you right'.

Mr H: Oh, not you again, do you have to come here?
Reed: Oh, no we'll quite happily go home sir.
C.O.G, Me, Hince: Oh yeah, we'll go home, ok, see ya, bye!
We start to leave the class room
Mr H: No, no, I was only joking, I'm not allowed to let you go.
Reed: but we won't tell.
Mr H: No, come on, everyone sit down.
We all sit down. Class trickles in. Usual hubbub of class. 
Phear: Hey, Harris, hold this end of the rubber band and I'll...
Biro whistles across the classroom, just missing Hay, bounces all over the place
Harris: Far out man!
Hince: heheheheheh! Look! It just missed Hay! Haaahahahhaha!
Hay: Bloody hell Dorian! Bends down, picks up pen, chucks it at Dorian, misses, hitting Mr H, who's close by
Mr H: Who threw that?
CLASS: HAY DID!
Laking: What a MEAT!
CLASS laughs
Mr H: Hay go outside!
Hay: But I've only just come in!
CLASS laughs again. But this time most of the class have come in. 
Wharton enters. 
Wharton: Hey Hay, where are you going?
Hince: Hey hey Hay! (Reference to Fat Albert)
Hay: Shut up Hince! Your'e such a meat!
CLASS: Wooooooooooohh. Laughter.
Hay, totally pissed off, goes outside. Wharton follows. 
Kennedy: Hey Julian, (shows rubber band), Heh heh heh
Harris: Get um, get Baldwin!
Kennedy smiles cunningly and fires missile across the room. Baldwin is hit on the head by the missile. 
Baldwin: Ow, who did that?
Kennedy: It wasn't me. Totally innocently apart from a stupid grin on his face
Hince: Sarcastically. No Kennedy, it wasn't you.
Baldwin: KENNEDY DON'T FIRE BITS OF PAPER AT ME!
Mr H, who by now has gone into a mild stupor: Who is that yelling like that?
Simpson: It was Baldwin, sir.
Mr H: Baldwin, be quiet
Bucknell: Give him a Room 9
Baldwin: That was Bucknell sir, spelt B-u-c-k-n-e-l-l
Class laughs
Bucknell: That was Baldwin, sir
Baldwin, who by now is involved in a full scale war between Hince, Bettelheim, Kennedy, and various other people): Hah, sucked Hince, I got ya right down the back.
Hince, struggling to get it out: Right, let's get BALDWIN!
Pellets whistle across the class room. One hits me
Harris: Right Bettel. I fling the biro that hit Mr H
Bettel: Ow, that hurt
Harris: Well it wasn't supported to be relaxing, Robert
Mr H, who is now beginning to look like a volcanic plum: Look, 4AL, BE QUIET!
Simpson, growling loudly: Rrrrraaaarrrr!
Mr H: And we can do without the noises, thank you.
Bucknell: That was Simpson, sir, spelt S-i--
Mr H: Shut up!
Reed, Hince, COG, plus various others: wooooooooohhhh!
Mr H: Look I think have had enough of you. Pointing to Bucknell. Go outside.
Bucknell: Me?
Mr H: Yes you, go on outside.
Absentee form guy (AFG) pops his head around the door: Absentees, sir.
Mr H: And you can too.
AFG: Me? But I've got to collect the ---
Mr H: Don't argue, go out!
Simpson: Hahahaha!
CLASS laughs
Mr H: Right, class: Quieten down now.
Class continues to talk.
Mr H waits for a full 5 minutes
Hoggard: Shut up guys!
Kerr, really loud: SHOOOOOSH!
Hince: Shut up Kerr!
Phear: Yeah Kerr, god you're a meat!
Laking: What a meat, man!
Class finally quietens down. This is a 55 minute lesson, and at this point we must be a good 15 minutes into the class. What follows just gets weirder.
Silence. 
Laking, deliberately exaggerated: HAHAHAhaha.
Mr H: Who is that laughing?
Hoggard: That was Laking, sir
Mr H: Shut UP you!
Hoggard: I was just telling --
Mr H: You were just talking out of turn, that's what you were doing!
Welch: No he was just telling Laking to ---
Mr H: Look: BE QUIET! Laking and you and you (pointing to Hoggard and Welch) go outside.
Welch: I don' see why I should go outside because --
Reed: Don't argue Welch
CLASS sort of together: Yeah Welch, don't argue!
Welch: I was just saying -- before I was rudely interrupted glaring at Reed who goes red) that I don't see why I should go out when Laking's the one who caused it all.
Mr H: The reaosn you are going out is because you and Hoggard rudely interrupted me, as you always do.
Simpson: Hahahah!
Welsh: Fair enough. Come on Hoggard, hey bring your tennis ball.
Hoggard: Yeh, okay.
They start to leave the room with a tennis ball.
Mr H: Where are you going with that tennis ball?
Welch: We're just going outside, like you said.
Hoggard, Yeah, because you said --
Mr H: All right, sid down, I've had enough of you tow, you've got a ROOM 9.
Class laughs hysterically
Hoggard, incredulous: What for?
Mr H: For being totally uncooperative
Welch: Is there any way we can get it taken off?
Mr H: No, I'm fed up with you so sit down and SHUT UP.
Class: Woooooohhhhh
Mr H: And none of that silly woooh-ing either.
Welch, putting hand up: I know, how about if we go outside for the period, and be quiet, will you consider it?
Mr H Sighs: Okay.
Simpson: Hahahaha!
Hince in absolute disbelief: Whaaat?
Harris: God he's a pushover
Phear: I'll say.
Door opens.
Phear: Hey there's Hay outside. Hince fire a pellet at him.
Hince fires a pellet with an old garter he found outside Room 7
Hince: Wahay! God eeem! (He's an Aussie)
Mr H: Chris, come here, and hand out these sheets please.
Baldwin: Ha, SUCKED Hay!
Hay from outside classroom: Right, Hince!
Hay then chucks an eraser but the door closes and it ricochets all over the place outside the room
Kerr: Shit, see that! Haha! It bounced off the door and went into the rubbish bin outside! Heeheeheehee!
Class laughter
Mr H: Right class, obviously you can't keep yourselves quiet, so I'm going to make a 10 minute silence while you get on with that sheet that was handed out to you by Chris here.
Bucknell: What sheet?
Class laughter
Silence.
Laking, deliberately exaggerated once again: Hahahaha!
Class laughter



Monday, May 03, 2010

Buzz by Julian Harris from Buzz

My number one reason for not buying Spotify. For the FIFTH time now Spotify has randomly, without notice, removed a vast number of tracks in my playlist. I can understand that there might be changes in publishing policy, but if I had owned the tracks, I'd never be in this situation. (the album in question was Mark Isham's Castalia, which luckily I do have a CD of, but also _every single track by Cesaria Evora was removed last night :( :( :( )



The very least they could do is notify me that they disappeared so I don't spend time wondering whether I've gone crazy.



Spotify seems to be having licensing / communication problems.

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Buzz by Julian Harris from Buzz

My number one reason for not buying Spotify. For the FIFTH time now Spotify has randomly, without notice, removed a vast number of tracks in my playlist. I can understand that there might be changes in publishing policy, but if I had owned the tracks, I'd never be in this situation. (the album in question was Mark Isham's Castalia, which luckily I do have a CD of, but also _every single track by Cesaria Evora was removed last night :( :( :( )



The very least they could do is notify me that they disappeared so I don't spend time wondering whether I've gone crazy.



Spotify seems to be having licensing / communication problems.

Comment via Buzz

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Buzz by Julian Harris from Buzz

I wonder whether there's a good business opportunity providing high quality hosting for open source apps. Tried to use another 'free' GTD Tracks site (gtdify.com) and it was down for critical parts of yesterday.

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Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Buzz by Julian Harris from Buzz

Totally loving this site. Takes snapshots of a page loading every 0.1s. Then you compare over time.



Check out all the major search engines:



http://www.webpagetest.org/video/compare.php?tests=100321_6533,100321_6534,100321_6535,100321_6536,100321_6537



Google.com: visible elements at 0.5s, fully loaded at 1.8s

Bing: visible elements at 0.4s not fully loaded until 3.2s

Ask.com: don't even... ask

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Thursday, March 18, 2010

Buzz by Julian Harris from Uploads by boxabirds

Gtug lon chrome and html5 2010-03-16-17-59-12

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Now Google bookmarks has a very high profile discovery point, Matt Cutts pointed out the neat 'Bookmarklet' feature.

Here's a small tweak to the Google Bookmarklet to include the selected text in the 'Notes' section:

Drag this to your bookmarks bar:
Add to Google Bookmarks

NOTE: Chrome / Firefox only currently. Testing and refining with other browsers.
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